Stop bullshitting yourself

In order to improve the quality of your life, there are many things you might want to start doing. But as I wrote earlier, every start of something is the ending of something else. Start and stop, in a way, are the same thing. So in this post I’m gonna give you some ideas of things you may want to stop doing. Here we go: Stop spending time with the wrong people. Stop doing work that is not worth It. Stop running from your problems. Stop thinking you’re the only one with problems. Stop lying to yourself. Stop responding like a trained monkey. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. Stop taking no for an answer. Stop trying to be best at everything. Stop needing to be happy al the time. Stop being so serious all the time. Stop making things more complicated than they should be. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. Stop fearing/hiding your bad side. Stop being scared to make a mistake. Stop thinking you’re not ready. Stop stressing. Stop being jealous. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. Stop trying to make things perfect. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. Stop bullshitting yourself, stop thinking it’s all too late and go make a fresh start.

May 6, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration |
Happiness needs no cause

Search the web and you’ll find thousands of ‘rules’, ‘laws’, ‘lists’, ‘tips’ and ‘tricks’, ‘steps’ and ‘guides’, all elaborating on happiness and how to attain it. Why? Because more than anything else, happiness is what we’re after. Wikipedia says: ‘Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy’. So sure, who doesn’t want that? But nowadays, the pursuit of happiness in many parts of the world often drives people to unhappiness. Why? Because we tend to mistake having success for being happy: as long as we’re not successful, it’s hard – if not impossible – to feel happy. We’ve come to believe that to be happy, we need a reason. Like winning the lottery, chilling on a tropical beach, being madly in love etc.. We depend on external references like things, people, conditions and achievements to confirm our happiness. And although that’s understandable, the important question is: do we really? Do we really need a reason to be happy? The answer is: NO! Happiness is not reserved to those with a good reason. How could it, when a good reason for one person, means nothing to another? Happiness needs no cause. Everybody is free to be happy for whatever reason or no reason at all.

April 29, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration | Tags: ,
State of Mind

A “state of mind” is a temporary psychological state. It’s a mood, really. And moods make or break. They can make you feel invincible or powerless, happy or sad, outgoing or shy, focussed or vague. Darren L. Johnson said: “Ultimately, your state of mind determines your circumstances”. It means not the situation, but the mood you’re in determines how you manifest yourself. So, here are some quotes that might just boost your state of mind. Joyce Brothers: “Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” Napoleon Hill: “Fears are nothing more than a state of mind”. Robert Hillyer: “Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world”. Wayne Dyer: “The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.” Catherine Ponder: “The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good.” Alexander Bell: “What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it.” And back to Darren L. Johnson: To realize the outcomes you want, it is critical to recognize and experience the transition from your present thoughts, habits and actions to new thoughts, habits and actions. For it is this transition that lets you alter your state of mind, and thus change your world.

April 20, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration |
With sunrise, you rise so nice so nice

Russian novelist and poet Vladimir Nabokov once said: “Life is a great sunrise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one”. Now to me, that is one hell of a mind shifting way to look at life and death. To see life and all it’s hassles in between as a great sunrise and to perceive death -the ultimate ending- as a potentially even greater sunrise, makes me fall in love with concept of sunrise. Now at this point you should know that I call myself a ‘night person’. So obviously, having this feeling made me think. And ultimately I came to the conclusion that calling myself a ‘night person’ is just my excuse for not having to like every morning. Because every morning brings a day with opportunities, but also hassle. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. But the thing Nabokov made me see in such poetic splendor, is the continuum in which our lives evolve. Opportunity leads to hassle and hassle creates opportunity. Just as life leads to death and death creates life. Nothing ends, everything begins. It’s all one big sunrise. And with sunrise, you rise. So nice. So nice.

April 9, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration |
Every maze has an exit

French novelist Honoré de Balzac once said: “Society bristles with enigmas which look hard to solve. It is a perfect maze of intrigue”. And I guess he’s right because at some point in our lifes, we all find ourselves in a complex situation that leaves us no way out. At least so it appears. But everything changes. And so, whether it happens through smart thinking, clear intuition, by coincidence or simply by the passing of time, sooner or later we free ourselves from the maze we’re in. We either find an escape or the maze itself just disappears. About this, Buddha said: “Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue”. In the end, no matter what maze you’re in, rest assured: every maze has an exit.

April 4, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration |
Everybody is Natural Born Winner

Did you know there are 20 to a 100 million sperm cells per milliliter semen? That there is 2 to 6 milliliter sperm per ejaculation and so every ejaculation contains up to 500 million sperm cells? Now take a moment to think about this: these millions of sperm cells all have one goal; being unique. They all want to be the first to enter the female egg cell. And that my friends, is a rat race! And the fact that you are here, reading this text means you’re that special one! You beat millions of competitors who were all after the same thing. You succeeded, you’ve won! And so to me, that means that upon birth, you may rightfully call yourself a natural born winner. The funny (and dramatic) thing is that when we are born, we start all over. We enter a new rat race called life, competing others to once more prove our right to exist. And unless we are confirmed, we risk feeling kind of depressed. Maybe you know this feeling too. So when this happens, step back for a moment and be aware that your presence on earth already is an achievement beyond belief and for you to enjoy. Why enter the rat race twice?

March 29, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration |
Failure is the foundation of success

Everybody wants to make progress. In whatever we think is worth pursuing, we want to move forward. That’s our nature. And to measure progress, we think in terms of success: the achievement of something desired, planned or attempted. That makes “failure” something we want to stay far from. Failure, in our culture such a frightening word, but what exactly is it? And does it even exist? Tony Robbins says: “There is no such thing as failure. There are only results”. And in order to make progress, every result is valuable, good and bad. In fact, bad results or failure, later often turns out to be the foundation on which success is build. Professional golf legend Tom Watson once said: “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate”. So here’s to you and your progress: go out there today, go after your goals, try new things, learn, adjust and try again. Because then, even when you screw things up, your foundation for future success becomes only more solid.

March 28, 2012 by: | Category: Daily Inspiration | Tags: , ,
    • Daring to be vulnerable gives you power to be

      People are vulnerable as individuals and as a species. And fighting vulnerability is useless. No matter how hard you try. Simply because you can’t control everything and so your life can turn upside down at any moment of any day. You may be the King of the World, the Smartest Woman in the Universe or the Sexiest Man Alive; it won’t help. You can however hide from it. And most of us do. Behind a fancy job title, nice car or house. Interesting friends, a busy agenda, designer clothes or healthy hipster life style, but sooner or later vulnerability will find you. So what can you do? Well, it’s simple.

      Simply face it and embrace it. Because when you embrace it, you no longer need to fight it. You no longer need to run or hide from it, by keeping up appearances and putting energy in this hopeless attempt to avoid the discomfort of feeling it. You can now be as you are, vulnerable, instead of pretending not to be. The way I see it: vulnerability is indestructible. So by letting it in and become a part of you, in a way that makes you indestructible. Daring to be vulnerable gives you power to be.

      Vulnerability becomes a Strength

      Are you alive?

      From time to time it’s good to ask yourself: “Am I alive?” Because it’s not uncommon to just be busy doing what you’re always doing. To be caught up in a routine. And that routine may very well result in hours, days, weeks, months or even years of living, without actually being alive. Because there’s more to living, than just breathing. Imagine someone in a coma and it becomes clear… I recently attended a re-birthing workshop and I experienced the difference between A) normal breathing: a mostly shallow, kind of mechanic and unconscious way of getting the bare minimum of oxygen ‘shots’ and B) breathing with full awareness, in a rich flow, organic and fully open to receive life’s energy in all it’s splendor. It let me experience the meaning of the phrase: “Just because you breathe, doesn’t mean you’re alive”. And so I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to wonder: am I  really alive or mostly just busy breathing?

      Just because you breathe

      Who am I… or rather, what am I?

      I guess you’re familiar with this sensation: one moment you feel great, and the next… well not so great. I sometimes feel like I’m nothing and sometimes I feel as though I’m everything. It’s a really fine line, much like it is with being crazy or brilliant. John Lennon had a nice way of putting it. He said: “Part of me suspects I’m a loser. The other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty”. I wrote a post about that one too. Anyway. A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon the “I, a universe of atoms…” quote by the American physicist Richard P. Feynman (1918 – 1988). And it’s stuck in my head ever since. Because to me his words are both mind blowing and heart warming. The thought of “I” being a tiny, stand alone atom – and an infinite, whole universe at the same time, blows my ego off it’s socks. Because “I” isn’t (only) the ‘earthly me’. “I” is a single atom and an entire universe, completing one another. Think about that when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror. So yes, it’s a quote I gratefully meditate on. It’s so simple and yet so deeply profound. It makes me feel humble and larger than life at the same time – it’s liberating. Look at us humans. Look at you, look at me. We are both nothing and everything. Again. That’s just… wow.

      I, a universe of atoms

      focusNjoy #122: Stop searching, start finding

      Imagine you’re looking for something, but you can’t find it. Annoying. Yes. Very. But then, maybe you’re not supposed to find it. Or maybe you’re just looking in the wrong place. Or maybe… you already found it, but you don’t realize it yet. Whatever the reason is, you might want to stop searching. Why? Well think about it: as long as you’re busy searching – you’re not… finding!

      Stop searching, Start finding

      A fresh start for focusNjoy

      Dear friends, it’s been more than a year since my last post! Honestly, I needed the break but a lot of good things have happened to me in the meantime. Apart from a great time at Eyeworks Netherlands, where I worked as a Senior Creative with some great people at the Program Development Team, it were exciting times for me personally as well. Too much to tell you in one post. But I will share more in the coming months, because it’s been truly transformational.

      I’m planning on a brand new start of focusNjoy at the end of April. And this time, I intend to actually make some money haha – because running an ad-free blog is great, but from a financial point of view it wasn’t a success and one of the reasons for me to get back to television. Later in 2014 I intend to finally start with my workshops in Amsterdam. I’m super excited about that but let’s see how things develop. Anway – I’m back and I’m feeling fresh. Hoping to hear from you – always feel free to send me an email and say hi!

      Love, Stijn.

      focusNjoy back 2014
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