So. There you are. You’ve done it! First of all: you were born! You’ve graduated! You’ve got the job! You found your love! You’ve got the car and the house! And now you’re married, you’ve got children! You’ve got the shoes, the watch and the friends to show it to! Hell, maybe you’ve got it all! Well, no. You can’t have it all, I mean: where would you put it? My point is: whatever you have, the moment you first got it created an amazing feeling. But with time the intensity of every feeling, even the good ones, will gradually fade. Daily life takes your attention away from what was once pride, gratefulness and happiness. So there you are again. Same situation, only now the question is: now what? You have what you wanted, but that’s not enough is it? No. Because it isn’t about having what you want, it’s about wanting what you have. Or else you’ll always be chasing for happiness the rest of your life, without ever really being happy.

The way you think about things, the way you view things, the way you interpret things, the way you feel about things, a single world: this way or that way, it can make a world of difference. It sounds so simple and in fact it is. Denis Waitley, a motivational speaker and author said: “If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you can’t, you most assuredly can’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.” To master the art of switching, challenge every thought, feeling or idea you have. It gives you freedom to create, shape and endlessly alter reality. Your reality, your life.

This post was first published as a column on the website of the Dutch Magazine for Coaching. For Dutch readers, you can find it here. I was asked to write a 100-word piece about boundaries. And the second I heard the word boundaries, my thoughts moved towards space. Because to me boundaries are not limitations, but the contours of the playground called life. Every boundary is an outline of space. Like the horizon on an endless sea or a star in the universe. Boundaries show us where we are and where we can go. Within ourselves and beyond. And while change itself has no boundaries, it is only noticeable due to the existence of boundaries. Boundaries come in all kinds of shapes and forms. The steps of a staircase, the keys of a piano and every second that goes by: these are all boundaries. They are not the end of things, only stepping stones from one to another. Boundaries create space. Like the walls of your house accentuate the space you call home. This nice film shows you an impression of boundless nature, which becomes visible, bounded by its own rhythms.

Hello friends and welcome to a new week. It’s monday morning, to some inspirational, exciting and new. To others the start of 5 days of boredom, stress or insecurity. Whatever your situation is, keep one thing in mind: nothing is impossible. So start dreaming and if you already have a dream, start making that dream a reality. If you need a kick start to get you excited, read this, this and this post.

Wondering around in the New York City subway, you’d expect a noisy rat race. Right? Wrong! This film shows that with your eye and ears focussed on something peaceful, you can find moments of meditation even in the busiest situations. Let yourself be carried away for a couple of minutes and experience how the ‘bending sounds’ of the NYC subway and the music of various street musicians bring you in a calm state of mind. And really, it’s only because the filmmaker concentrated on them, that we you will notice and appreciate their soothing contribution to busy everyday life. In the end, it’s all about attention. Whatever you put your attention to, will grow. Or as I said earlier in this post: The way we see reality (and in this case also hear it), is how we create reality.

Imagine a ball and this ball is your goal. It represents something you wish for. It can be the tiniest of things and it can be a as huge as your life’s mission. Whatever it is: keep your eye on it. At all times if possible. Because whatever you give attention to, will grow. That’s the idea. Without your focus on it, the ball is just a ball and it won’t go anywhere until you play with it. Only when you play with it, it will go into a certain direction. It will bounce, it will spin, it will go fast, slow, straight and with a curve. It will be in your reach and sometimes out. It doesn’t matter. As long as you stay alert and pay close attention to what is happening and where it’s going, you can always get possession of the ball and ultimately score your goal. Come to think of it, maybe the ball is the goal. Just like the journey is the destination, as I’ve written about in this column. Then, keeping your eye on the ball always pays off.

Here’s a little poem that I once wrote. I recently decided to post it (and analyze it’s meaning).

When I have an objective,
I will be much more effective,
when I keep being objective.

First, what exactly does being objective mean? It means: 1. (Philosophy) existing independently of perception. 2. undistorted by emotion or personal bias. 3. of (or relating to) actual and external phenomena as opposed to thoughts, feelings etc.. So, why is that important? Because when striving for an objective, it’s easy to get caught up in all kinds of distractions and assumptions. We become dependent of perception, we are distorted by emotion or worse: personal bias and we relate to our constantly changing thoughts as opposed to actual phenomena. To be objective, start with a clean sheet and keep it clean as long as you can – for it keeps you objective along the way.