• Daring to be vulnerable gives you power to be

      People are vulnerable as individuals and as a species. And fighting vulnerability is useless. No matter how hard you try. Simply because you can’t control everything and so your life can turn upside down at any moment of any day. You may be the King of the World, the Smartest Woman in the Universe or the Sexiest Man Alive; it won’t help. You can however hide from it. And most of us do. Behind a fancy job title, nice car or house. Interesting friends, a busy agenda, designer clothes or healthy hipster life style, but sooner or later vulnerability will find you. So what can you do? Well, it’s simple.

      Simply face it and embrace it. Because when you embrace it, you no longer need to fight it. You no longer need to run or hide from it, by keeping up appearances and putting energy in this hopeless attempt to avoid the discomfort of feeling it. You can now be as you are, vulnerable, instead of pretending not to be. The way I see it: vulnerability is indestructible. So by letting it in and become a part of you, in a way that makes you indestructible. Daring to be vulnerable gives you power to be.

      Vulnerability becomes a Strength

      Are you alive?

      From time to time it’s good to ask yourself: “Am I alive?” Because it’s not uncommon to just be busy doing what you’re always doing. To be caught up in a routine. And that routine may very well result in hours, days, weeks, months or even years of living, without actually being alive. Because there’s more to living, than just breathing. Imagine someone in a coma and it becomes clear… I recently attended a re-birthing workshop and I experienced the difference between A) normal breathing: a mostly shallow, kind of mechanic and unconscious way of getting the bare minimum of oxygen ‘shots’ and B) breathing with full awareness, in a rich flow, organic and fully open to receive life’s energy in all it’s splendor. It let me experience the meaning of the phrase: “Just because you breathe, doesn’t mean you’re alive”. And so I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to wonder: am I  really alive or mostly just busy breathing?

      Just because you breathe

      Who am I… or rather, what am I?

      I guess you’re familiar with this sensation: one moment you feel great, and the next… well not so great. I sometimes feel like I’m nothing and sometimes I feel as though I’m everything. It’s a really fine line, much like it is with being crazy or brilliant. John Lennon had a nice way of putting it. He said: “Part of me suspects I’m a loser. The other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty”. I wrote a post about that one too. Anyway. A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon the “I, a universe of atoms…” quote by the American physicist Richard P. Feynman (1918 – 1988). And it’s stuck in my head ever since. Because to me his words are both mind blowing and heart warming. The thought of “I” being a tiny, stand alone atom – and an infinite, whole universe at the same time, blows my ego off it’s socks. Because “I” isn’t (only) the ‘earthly me’. “I” is a single atom and an entire universe, completing one another. Think about that when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror. So yes, it’s a quote I gratefully meditate on. It’s so simple and yet so deeply profound. It makes me feel humble and larger than life at the same time – it’s liberating. Look at us humans. Look at you, look at me. We are both nothing and everything. Again. That’s just… wow.

      I, a universe of atoms

      focusNjoy #122: Stop searching, start finding

      Imagine you’re looking for something, but you can’t find it. Annoying. Yes. Very. But then, maybe you’re not supposed to find it. Or maybe you’re just looking in the wrong place. Or maybe… you already found it, but you don’t realize it yet. Whatever the reason is, you might want to stop searching. Why? Well think about it: as long as you’re busy searching – you’re not… finding!

      Stop searching, Start finding

      A fresh start for focusNjoy

      Dear friends, it’s been more than a year since my last post! Honestly, I needed the break but a lot of good things have happened to me in the meantime. Apart from a great time at Eyeworks Netherlands, where I worked as a Senior Creative with some great people at the Program Development Team, it were exciting times for me personally as well. Too much to tell you in one post. But I will share more in the coming months, because it’s been truly transformational.

      I’m planning on a brand new start of focusNjoy at the end of April. And this time, I intend to actually make some money haha – because running an ad-free blog is great, but from a financial point of view it wasn’t a success and one of the reasons for me to get back to television. Later in 2014 I intend to finally start with my workshops in Amsterdam. I’m super excited about that but let’s see how things develop. Anway – I’m back and I’m feeling fresh. Hoping to hear from you – always feel free to send me an email and say hi!

      Love, Stijn.

      focusNjoy back 2014
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  • Posts by focusNjoy

    Here can be a short biographical information

    The more we need in life, the more complicated it gets. The need for things limits our openness and increases our dependency. It creates a cycle of tension, where we must counter balance everything in order to meet our needs. If however we need nothing, life can take us anywhere and everything would simply be another experience. The thing is, in our world we tend to rank experiences in terms of ‘good’ and ‘bad’. We only want the good ones, try to avoid the bad ones and there you have it: the need for things and it’s cycle of tension. So lets go back. Let’s look at the phrase: “I need nothing”. What you basically say is “Anything is welcome” and that does simplify life, doesn’t it? It creates space, peace of mind and sets you free to simply experience. And in experience, lies the beauty of life. As you will discover in this video even a ‘nearly useless odyssey’, creates an experience.

    March 8, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Video
    Life is a gift, if you dare to unwrap it

    Life is a gift… I guess we’ve all heard that many times. And if you look beyond the hint of cliché that there is to this expression, and you take a minute to appreciate the finest moments of your life, I think we can agree that indeed life is a gift. But then, on a random rainy morning with a stressful day ahead, life is easily transformed from a gift into a burden. So, is life a gift yes or no? Yesterday, as I was pondering my day, it hit me. Life is always a gift, but you have dare to unwrap it. I mean, what good is a gift when you leave it unwrapped? We all know a sparkling diamond can be found in a dirty cloth. Just like a delightful experience might await you on a dreary monday. The wrapping may not be attractive, but it’s content can still be invaluable. So to experience life as a gift, you have to be willing to unwrap it. It’s the only way to discover what’s inside. If not joy, then certainly a learning opportunity. And maybe that’s what the gift of life is all about: to experience and learn.

    March 1, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Daily Inspiration
    Plan A...

    Imagine a 4 year old wanting to ride a bike for the very first time. Having seen other people cycle seemingly without any effort, he thinks it’s going to be an easy ride. So he’s got it all mapped out. He made a plan and calls it plan A and it’s very clear: enjoy the wheels on steel! The possibility of falling and hitting the ground doesn’t even come to his mind. Until of course he sets a foot on the pedal and tries to make a move, he finds out he can’t cycle. Plan A: destroyed. Or… wait. No. His parents will teach their kid not to give up so quickly, for everything is learning process. They will tell him that it doesn’t matter how many times he falls down, as long as he gets up again. Easy to say, hard to practice. As we grow up, wanting to ride a bike turns into wanting to have a meaningful life. We want so many things. But we are easily disappointed when we don’t get what we want – or not in the way we want them. We’re lured into the belief of not being good, smart or beautiful enough etc.. We turn in this little kid that finds out that learning to ride takes time and effort. So when I saw this picture circling around the internet I just had to use it. And there must be a million ways (ok, 26 at least) to accomplish something. If not now, then later. Meanwhile? Enjoy the ride and… stay cool.

    February 23, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Daily Inspiration

    How do you choose to live your life? My dear friends, by now you know I love road trips. And the film you are about to see, is the road trip of all road trips. Besides truly stunning images, there is a voice-over that is not just talking to you. It is speaking to your heart. And it’s not just somebody speaking, it is the future! It’s real life, expressed in pure poetry. I say this often: give yourself the time. Do yourself a favor and watch this film from A to Z for it will make you feel good. The film was written, filmed and produced by Dan Riordan and his girlfriend Nina while traveling through Chile & Patagonia. They spent 5 weeks exploring this amazing country and this is how they chose to document it. What a life, what a life, what a life. And you too have an amazing life. When you document it, you will see.

    February 16, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Video

    Here’s a film that will touch your heart and make you feel all good. It’s about a man called Johnny Barnes. Come rain or shine, this 88-year-old Bermudian devotes six hours every day to an endearing traffic ritual that has made him one of the island’s most cherished citizens. You have to see it to understand why. Do yourself a favor and watch it entirely, for it’s truly inspiring. And ask yourself the question if maybe you can learn something from Johnny. I sure can.

    February 13, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Video
    The way we see reality...

    Reality is a fluid concept. Never forget that. What seems real now, is surrealistic tomorrow. What seems unreal now, might be very real tomorrow. Play with this. The only thing that doesn’t change is the fact that everything is always changing. A problem now, is solved tomorrow. Or the day after. Or within a year from now. If you don’t have a problem? Don’t worry, you’ll get one. It doesn’t matter. It’s how you deal with what’s in front of you that matters. Reality is a construction, build on your view on things. On how you interpret them. Change your view, change your world. Just like that. And the best thing: it’s free and 24/7 at your disposal. The way you see reality, is how you create reality.

    February 8, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Daily Inspiration
    The luxury of having time

    Last month has been a quiet one on focusNjoy.com. I’ve been on a 25 day, very inspiring trip to the magical island of Bali, Indonesia. And what a journey it has been! I’ve been living in pure poetry, along with my wife, children (see the photo above) and some very close friends. It’s been a change of scenery that changed me for it showed me a way of life that I had not experienced before. And I don’t just mean the spiritual side of this island, it’s luscious nature and soothing climate, it’s kind people and really, really nice food. I mean the experience of having all the time and attention in the world to really be where you are. That struck me the most. It was luxurious. And so, I decided to absorb my experiences more than to express them. I wanted to live in the moment, not by self created deadlines. At first that made me feel restless, but soon the mostly absence of WiFi resolved that feeling of discomfort. What I’ve learned is that sometimes you have to travel far (in my case over 10.000 kilometers) to ultimately arrive within yourself. Like I said in this post: “Getting lost is a great way to find yourself”, only in this case I deliberately got lost. And that’s what I wish for all of you. To be able to deliberately get lost and feel free. To go some place, far or near, where you feel like you’re on a journey, cut off from everyday life. If not for 25 days, than at least for a moment. A weekend maybe. Or even an afternoon. Running around in the same circles makes the world seem small, but start walking long enough and you’ll discover it’s actually quite big. There is so much to discover that we remain unaware of due to daily duties. In the end, every journey will broaden your horizon and give you the feeling of having time you didn’t think you had. Anyway, I’m back. And I’m happy to be.

    February 2, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Daily Inspiration
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