• Daring to be vulnerable gives you power to be

      People are vulnerable as individuals and as a species. And fighting vulnerability is useless. No matter how hard you try. Simply because you can’t control everything and so your life can turn upside down at any moment of any day. You may be the King of the World, the Smartest Woman in the Universe or the Sexiest Man Alive; it won’t help. You can however hide from it. And most of us do. Behind a fancy job title, nice car or house. Interesting friends, a busy agenda, designer clothes or healthy hipster life style, but sooner or later vulnerability will find you. So what can you do? Well, it’s simple.

      Simply face it and embrace it. Because when you embrace it, you no longer need to fight it. You no longer need to run or hide from it, by keeping up appearances and putting energy in this hopeless attempt to avoid the discomfort of feeling it. You can now be as you are, vulnerable, instead of pretending not to be. The way I see it: vulnerability is indestructible. So by letting it in and become a part of you, in a way that makes you indestructible. Daring to be vulnerable gives you power to be.

      Vulnerability becomes a Strength

      Are you alive?

      From time to time it’s good to ask yourself: “Am I alive?” Because it’s not uncommon to just be busy doing what you’re always doing. To be caught up in a routine. And that routine may very well result in hours, days, weeks, months or even years of living, without actually being alive. Because there’s more to living, than just breathing. Imagine someone in a coma and it becomes clear… I recently attended a re-birthing workshop and I experienced the difference between A) normal breathing: a mostly shallow, kind of mechanic and unconscious way of getting the bare minimum of oxygen ‘shots’ and B) breathing with full awareness, in a rich flow, organic and fully open to receive life’s energy in all it’s splendor. It let me experience the meaning of the phrase: “Just because you breathe, doesn’t mean you’re alive”. And so I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to wonder: am I  really alive or mostly just busy breathing?

      Just because you breathe

      Who am I… or rather, what am I?

      I guess you’re familiar with this sensation: one moment you feel great, and the next… well not so great. I sometimes feel like I’m nothing and sometimes I feel as though I’m everything. It’s a really fine line, much like it is with being crazy or brilliant. John Lennon had a nice way of putting it. He said: “Part of me suspects I’m a loser. The other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty”. I wrote a post about that one too. Anyway. A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon the “I, a universe of atoms…” quote by the American physicist Richard P. Feynman (1918 – 1988). And it’s stuck in my head ever since. Because to me his words are both mind blowing and heart warming. The thought of “I” being a tiny, stand alone atom – and an infinite, whole universe at the same time, blows my ego off it’s socks. Because “I” isn’t (only) the ‘earthly me’. “I” is a single atom and an entire universe, completing one another. Think about that when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror. So yes, it’s a quote I gratefully meditate on. It’s so simple and yet so deeply profound. It makes me feel humble and larger than life at the same time – it’s liberating. Look at us humans. Look at you, look at me. We are both nothing and everything. Again. That’s just… wow.

      I, a universe of atoms

      focusNjoy #122: Stop searching, start finding

      Imagine you’re looking for something, but you can’t find it. Annoying. Yes. Very. But then, maybe you’re not supposed to find it. Or maybe you’re just looking in the wrong place. Or maybe… you already found it, but you don’t realize it yet. Whatever the reason is, you might want to stop searching. Why? Well think about it: as long as you’re busy searching – you’re not… finding!

      Stop searching, Start finding

      A fresh start for focusNjoy

      Dear friends, it’s been more than a year since my last post! Honestly, I needed the break but a lot of good things have happened to me in the meantime. Apart from a great time at Eyeworks Netherlands, where I worked as a Senior Creative with some great people at the Program Development Team, it were exciting times for me personally as well. Too much to tell you in one post. But I will share more in the coming months, because it’s been truly transformational.

      I’m planning on a brand new start of focusNjoy at the end of April. And this time, I intend to actually make some money haha – because running an ad-free blog is great, but from a financial point of view it wasn’t a success and one of the reasons for me to get back to television. Later in 2014 I intend to finally start with my workshops in Amsterdam. I’m super excited about that but let’s see how things develop. Anway – I’m back and I’m feeling fresh. Hoping to hear from you – always feel free to send me an email and say hi!

      Love, Stijn.

      focusNjoy back 2014
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  • Posts by focusNjoy

    Here can be a short biographical information

    Chances are that you are one of the 20.829.525 (and counting) people that saw this video. It’s about a girl singing an acoustic version of Adele’s song ‘Rolling in the Deep’. I saw it some time ago and immediately loved it. I then showed it to my kids. They loved it even more. And my wife almost had to cry, she too was swept off her feet. And so our family is responsible for at least 15 of that astonishing total of 20.829.525 views. Why did we love it so much? Because here’s a girl that obviously is aware of the camera, but she is also just herself. Overly excited to do it right. Not flawless in her singing, but so enthusiastic she just makes your heart melt. Now, I come from the world of television format development and I’ve witnessed the worldwide uprise of the talent show formula at very close range. In fact, I’ve been a part of the creation process of many. Many spin offs that is. Because once an idea proves to be a commercial success, it’s creative potential is quickly drained by television makers all over the world. And so audiences worldwide see one talent show after another. And although I’m amazed by all the talent out there, many talent shows are more about show than about talent. Immense studio’s, crowds that go wild, visual effects, fancy camera movements, fast editing, clever storytelling – sure – a show it is. And that’s all fine with me. I post this film to show that the simple setup of a guy with a guitar and a young girl on a couch, can be more than enough to entertain you, move you and make you feel good. Or how a small show can have a huge effect.

    April 12, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Video
    With sunrise, you rise so nice so nice

    Russian novelist and poet Vladimir Nabokov once said: “Life is a great sunrise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one”. Now to me, that is one hell of a mind shifting way to look at life and death. To see life and all it’s hassles in between as a great sunrise and to perceive death -the ultimate ending- as a potentially even greater sunrise, makes me fall in love with concept of sunrise. Now at this point you should know that I call myself a ‘night person’. So obviously, having this feeling made me think. And ultimately I came to the conclusion that calling myself a ‘night person’ is just my excuse for not having to like every morning. Because every morning brings a day with opportunities, but also hassle. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. But the thing Nabokov made me see in such poetic splendor, is the continuum in which our lives evolve. Opportunity leads to hassle and hassle creates opportunity. Just as life leads to death and death creates life. Nothing ends, everything begins. It’s all one big sunrise. And with sunrise, you rise. So nice. So nice.

    April 9, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Daily Inspiration
    The Big View

    “If life is a journey, then philosophy is like a compass. It helps us to find our way through the jungle of possibilities that life presents”. This is the first sentence you’ll read in the ‘about’ section of a website I found, called: The Big View. Editor/webmaster Thomas Knierim writes: “This website is about philosophy in the widest sense. It includes science, religion, mythology and other fields of thought that are not within the traditional scope of philosophy. However, it makes not much sense to treat these fields separately. Everything is connected. If one views anything from any possible angle, it can only increase understanding. (…) Most people are familiar with the problem of information overload. thebigview.com (…) is intended for the reader who wants to get an overview of a philosophical topic in a minimum amount of time”. Well, I’m not saying you should spend your entire weekend reading all the content, but it sure is interesting. And if we want to broaden our horizon and increase our (self)knowledge, then obviously a little time investment must be made. So take a look, pick a topic that speaks to you and see what it brings you. I’m sure that, like me, you will gain some new insights.

    April 7, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Link

    NEWS! For those living in The Netherlands, I’m happy and proud to announce that as of now focusNjoy will provide personal coaching for the clients of Doctors Inc. Cosmetic Clinic. The reason for our collaboration is simple: apart from the best possible care for their appearance, we want to offer clients quality attention for their inner wellbeing. It is this combination, an outer and inner approach of beauty, that will give the positive result of a treatment an extra boost: clients will not only look good, they will feel good too! For my Dutch readers, you can find more information here. For more information about Doctors Inc. click here to visit the website (currently only available in Dutch).

    April 6, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Uncategorized
    Every maze has an exit

    French novelist Honoré de Balzac once said: “Society bristles with enigmas which look hard to solve. It is a perfect maze of intrigue”. And I guess he’s right because at some point in our lifes, we all find ourselves in a complex situation that leaves us no way out. At least so it appears. But everything changes. And so, whether it happens through smart thinking, clear intuition, by coincidence or simply by the passing of time, sooner or later we free ourselves from the maze we’re in. We either find an escape or the maze itself just disappears. About this, Buddha said: “Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue”. In the end, no matter what maze you’re in, rest assured: every maze has an exit.

    April 4, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Daily Inspiration
    Poll what really really is important

    This is the first of a weekly poll in which I will ask a question that will make you reflect on life as you know it and focus on life how you wish it to be. This week, the question is about what you find really important in life and if you succeed in giving that enough attention. Because often we get caught up in things that in fact are not all that important. So, knowing what is important and prioritizing, form a crucial element in creating a fulfilling life. Thank you for participating! [polldaddy poll=6105744]

    April 3, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Uncategorized

    This post was first published as a column on the website of the Dutch Magazine for Coaching. For Dutch readers, you can find it here. I was asked to write a 100-word piece about boundaries. And the second I heard the word boundaries, my thoughts moved towards space. Because to me boundaries are not limitations, but the contours of the playground called life. Every boundary is an outline of space. Like the horizon on an endless sea or a star in the universe. Boundaries show us where we are and where we can go. Within ourselves and beyond. And while change itself has no boundaries, it is only noticeable due to the existence of boundaries. Boundaries come in all kinds of shapes and forms. The steps of a staircase, the keys of a piano and every second that goes by: these are all boundaries. They are not the end of things, only stepping stones from one to another. Boundaries create space. Like the walls of your house accentuate the space you call home. This nice film shows you an impression of boundless nature, which becomes visible, bounded by its own rhythms.

    April 2, 2012 door:
    Categorie: Video
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